Being a millennial is a constant tug-of-war between being perpetually connected and perpetually alone. This is especially true when it comes to online dating.
We’re the era of always talking to someone, but feeling connected to no one, and superficial dating sites and dating apps like Tinder and Plenty of Fish only exacerbate this problem. When we use Tinder and POF to find ourselves a quick hookup, or to soak up compliments without doling any out, we’re depriving ourselves of emotional connection that we need as human beings to survive. Trust me, I’m literally a future marriage and family therapist.
Of course, I participate in this phenomenon. It’s hard not to be a part of the crowd sometimes in this day and age. I have accounts on both Tinder and POF. However, I’m using them a little differently in the new year. As a personal goal, I’m talking to more people and going out on more dates. Doing less of that compliment soaking and more of the getting to know real people in my area. I also have a blogging goal though.
As much as I would love to eventually be in a healthy, caring relationship built on mutual trust and an ability to fully be ourselves, I must be happy with what I have, which is generally a stack piled high of pickup lines. And I am going to post them.
I am going to post the terrible awful garbage ones that make us all uncomfortable…
in hopes of it becoming less socially acceptable to treat a real person like a sex object. I’m not even talking about being respectful toward women. I’m talking about everyone remembering that there is an actual human being receiving their messages. I just happen to be a woman dating men, so that’s what I’ve got to work with. I implore people to think: if you wouldn’t want your mother or sister to read what you’re saying to me, please don’t say it…at least not until we get to know each other 😉
I’m going to post the ones that don’t make sense…
because even people that you’re trying to hook for casual sex deserve a message that you looked over at least once…and bro it’s just not good for your game if your “hey” comes out as “gey.”
I’m going to post the funny, sweet, and fantastically clever ones…
because we all need to remember that those guys are out there, too. Those openers can be just as entertaining, and they’re the ones most likely to lead to dates, which will be fun to write up, too!
I have set myself ground rules in an attempt to not be a total dick:
- I would never make fun of anyone’s appearance, race, ethnicity, etc. This is not about me being “too good” for the people I post about, etc. This is about re-creating a healthy dating culture. If someone is respectful toward me, I will be respectful toward them back, regardless of what they look like.
- I will not put anyone down who seemed to have good intentions. It’s hard to put yourself out there even if it doesn’t end up coming across well, and I respect that.
- I will cover up names, usernames, locations, and pictures if any faces are clear. Don’t want to be sued for slander even though y’all did put this shit on the internet to begin with and we’ve all been warned about what can happen to things you put on the internet.
To start us off, here’s a Tinder gem I received a few weeks ago:
Check out some of my favorite Tinder Files to date: